I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been so lost and confused about things lately. Well, maybe I do know, and maybe it’s because I haven’t really taken the time to look at what realistic options i have in front of me given the body of work I’ve accomplished these past few years. Which essentially translates into me giving into these less than desirable characteristics allowing them to define who I am.
In starting up this new blog, I made mention of desiring to have more opportunities to exercise my creative juices on my blog through not increased quantity but improved quality. Something I failed to take into account however, is how the mind acquires experience to sharpen itself. I love this quote from A Game of Thrones, from Tyrion Lannister: “My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer and I have my mind… and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That’s why I read so much Jon Snow.” My lack of reading was recently brought up whilst I was talking to a friend. And one of the things I was looking forward to, after getting out of college, was to be able to have more leisure time to read. While complaining to said friend, she astutely mentioned that you have to make time to read, to do the things that you want to. Which brings me back full circle to me and my lack of motivation. Something that is seriously is no longer acceptable. (not that is was ever acceptable in the past, but here’s to today, recognizing it and desiring to move on from it)
Truth be told, this research on potential programs I could get into down the road shouldve been something I’d completed quite some time ago. But I guess the old cliche holds true here, in that it’s better late than never eh? While a PTA program wasn’t necessarily the first plan of attack, nevertheless, it is a plan that is feasible. And there’s a program that can allow you to finish the program in a mere 15 months. So it seems that that’s option number 1 now. It’s not a DPT program, but it at least helps me in progressing in life. Eh.
It’s so weird that my sense of motivation doesn’t necessarily come from within, from myself, but rather from someone else and talking to her and realizing how badly I may be squandering my time thus far.