Not all of the above links to previous entries (xanga) are necessarily fully hashed out blogs about events and happenings that’ve transpired that year. Reviews of 2011 and 2010 seemed to be more downtrodden and lament my lack of direction in life. The 09 review had a more optimistic view of things. I think my 08 review was the entry that truly captured my thoughts and emotions from that year, with an objective review of the past and, using that as a springboard, allowed me to (attempt to) set realistic expectations moving forward. Recapping 07 was a naive but excited me, ready to finish up senior year of high school and leave out the what ifs in life (that worked out well /s). I seemed to be a bit more despondent once again in 06, wanting to break out of a cookie-cutter group definition and attempt to find “me,” whoever that is. And the 05 and 04 blogs were just ramblings of what I did over break; I guess the 14 and 15 year old me wasn’t too interested in reflective entries as much back then.
So here I am at the end of 2012. And oh, what a year 2012 has been. I think I’ll take a page out of facebook and attempt a highlight reel of sorts, c&p posts from my xanga and giving small annotations throughout.
– I started the first quarter 2012 in a state of depression. There are more than enough entries about me bitching and complaining about the sorrowful state I was in (see here), to the point where it was a challenge to even complete one task of note on a day to day basis. One of my anchoring points through this tough time was the attempt at eating healthy/working out. Which worked for a while, I s’pose.
– In my socially withdrawn state of mind, I seemed to devote my time to gaming as the most productive tasks of my day. I had started Skyrim over Winter Break, and in March, went through a crazy span where I finished Skyrim, FF9, and FF10 this month. I have an entry detailing my favorite songs from FF9, but I’m not sure the embedded player still works. But I guess gaming was a way to escape the brutal reality I found myself in.
– There’re a lot of great sights around LA. Got to go shooting w/ a friend, and this has still been one of my favorite photos I’ve taken thus far.
– Was asked to pray for a youth at a baptism. Which served to remind me of how I’m running in place wrt relgion. Rather, I’m barely even moving, and there just exists a great amount of apathy in this department. This started late 2011/early 2012? Or something. (I still found myself around for VBS lulz.) And it continues.
– Diablo 3 on launch day. This marked the end of my going to gym lulz. And of course, D3 has been quite subpar compared to its predecessor in D2.
– 22nd birthday, surprise party. Thanks friends and fambam.
– T’was like I was in HS again. The feeling of carefree innocence and freedom. Even if it was so brief, it was fun.
– Still wandering. Not all who wander are lost – J. R. R. Tolkein. But am I lost?
– Hello WordPress, Farewell to xanga.
So that was then. What now? At least, headed into the first half of 2012, I knew that I had to stay afloat and finish classes and graduate out of undergrad (what a pessimistic perspective eh?). The latter half eventually thankfully took care of itself, in that I was able to get the classes I needed, thereby keeping me on track to clear pre-reqs for grad school, I s’pose. The start of 2013; I also have classes, this time over at PCC, but I gotta get into a program. Currently stuck in neutral wrt that. Get a job? Get back into volunteering? I gotta find something to occupy my time. I gotta do something to get myself out of this inert rut I find myself in. What about church? What about it? I’m fearful of the unknown that lies before me. Mostly because I’ve failed to take the proper precautions in attempting to discern what may come. Many times over, have I had previous “end of the year” entries where I attempted to flip the calendar and charge out of the gate w/ shoulders squared. I don’t think I’m in such a position right now, but I’m also aware that I can’t stay stationary, and running in place is an insufficient and feeble attempt to have progress for the sake of progress. Time to start putting thoughts into action then.