We make a big deal about possession nowadays. The American dream is that one day, we’ll eventually be the proud owner of a nice house somewhere, a car or two, various nice appliances to fill our nice house with, an abundance of nice clothing, and I s’pose the 2.1 kids that comes with the territory, or whatever that number has changed to in recent years. For a lot of people, once those items can be checked off our lists, then we’ve finally “made it.” Because renting a home/apartment/w/e and/or leasing a car just doesn’t cut it in terms of the status and perception that we’ve been brought up to deal with. Possession is key.
Yet, when we get into the realm of relationships, possession is often a big no-no. You may be together with another person, but you don’t explicitly own them. They still have their own life, work, experience, friends, and the lot, of which you’ve been fortunate enough to be invited in to share in with all of the above. You are not the master of your SO’s time, but you are more privy to all this than the average bear, or so the thought would go. You might not be able to correctly assume what goes on in their minds, and their thoughts aren’t 100% broadcasted openly to you, but you may have an easier time deciphering said person and getting on their wavelength because of your relationship. It is a shared mutual holding over all this, to which both parties have invited the other to be able to exert a bit more influence that you’d normally allow of a person, and this give and take is necessary and essential to making a relationship work (or so I’m told).
With that said, at the most primal levels, we still desire possession. We all want someone to “be mine.” In times of vulnerability, we want to be able to fall back into the reassuring arms of our SO, to allow them to take possession our us and our fears and our worries, maybe not permanently, but at least for a transient period of time, to aid in lessening the burden for a while. He is “my man” or “my boy;” she is “my girl” or “my woman.” As much as society has attempted to mold us and our thoughts into being independent peoples and equal partners, we can’t help but return to basic urges and want someone. A want that often times is linked back to owning and possessing said object of desire.
When there exists a void or gap in terms of something that we pine for, we can usually feel the dull throbbing pain that comes from the emptiness of having nothing there in a place where we feel something should be taking up residence. If we want a new toy, car, clothes, whatever, it will be consciously in our minds, and we will strive to reach a point where we can make that item ours. We will work to accrue the necessary funds to make a purchase, or we’ll at least try and balance our budgets to rationalize said spending. We will go out of our way and spend enormous amounts of time attempting to get the best deal on it, or we’ll scour the B&M stores or online websites looking for that specific article of clothing in the right color and the right size for the right price. There’s a lot of time and energy and effort that goes into something like this, that goes hand in hand with the territory of wanting something, or someone, even.
And of course, there’s a fine line that we have to carefully dance around, because any actions taken above the norm which is expected becomes creepy and frowned up or even laughed at in most societies. Take the story of Denko, of which I just recently stumbled upon a week or so ago. You’ll want to click that link if you have the time, b/c it’s seriously a story that is terribly cringe-worthy but also something that you cant seem to pull yourself away from because you just have to find out what happens next. If not, the short short short version is about a socially inept guy who develops feelings for a girl and fails to properly discern the signals and asks an online forum for help, in which most ppl troll him, but he takes the advice seriously, and well, you can imagine how terrible of a story arc we have here. Despite how pathetic this story is, it still captivates us because when you return to basics, it’s a story about a guy wanting a girl. Yes, he may have had some altered reality that he had created for himself, but at the end of the day, we all want the same thing. We want a “her.” We want a “him.” (´･ω･`)
Possession is good. But possession is bad. But at the end of it all, we want to possess and we want to be possessed. Because, it’s only when we become possessed can we undergo such a magical feeling, one where it feels like you and yours are transcending the exact time and space of the situation, to which when asked to recall the happy times, you’ll only remember the good instead of the bad, the warmth and joy that comes with the chemistry, and how all of it created a concoction that you imbibed to make you drunk beyond your wildest dreams. That’s why possession is so good. That’s why possession is so bad.