So as I mentioned, I’ve been watching a lot of OTH with all the free time that I have that I should be spending on apps and not idling around. But it is what it is. And I love how, there are specific generalities used to depict certain feelings and emotions. For example, with this being a show that has some sports components, whenever a player is going through a rough time, they’ll show him shooting around with all his shots bricking and clanking off the rim. Or, a certain player has a certain place where he likes to go, and of he’s going through some issues, you’ll know to find him moping around there (in this case, it’d be his riverside court).
Now I don’t have a riverside court to myself, let alone a nice little river or isolated court all to myself. It would be nice to have a go to location away from home, but I don’t.
So the thinking and reflecting and wondering often happens in random locations where my mind has the time to space out and do its own thing. That’s why in currently writing this entry during Christmas service (sue me).
It’s been a season of time where I constantly keep going back to the what ifs of life. One of which has been the whole issue of schooling and career and whatnot. I guess just under 6 years ago, I was making the crucial decision about where I was going to go off to college. It basically came down to two schools, one a large prestigious public school in LA and the other a smaller private school out in NY. The LA school I had applied and been accepted to as an undeclared major. The NY school was a 6 year program where I would’ve come out with a Doctor’s in Physical Therapy degree, and they were offering me a scholarship where tuition would’ve equaled the price of staying at home.
People who know me know how that story turned out. I chose to stay closer to home, wandered through college and ended up with some random degree where I’m not making use of it. Yeah, sure, you could cite statistics to me saying how lotsa folks end up in that boat, but I never wanted to be one of those. Had I chosen the other path, yeah I might not have been guaranteed the prize at the end, but in theory, I would’ve been wrapping up my schooling, getting ready to jump into the field and a career. Instead I’m floundering at home. And I haven’t even taken into account how choosing a different path would’ve affected my relationships (or possibly lack thereof).
But what’s done is done right? You can’t exactly dwell and mope on what might have been. The sad thing is I’ve been on this schtick for about the last 3 years now.