H(ear)ray!

Because documenting the weird things in life the thing I do.

Sat night -> Fri afternoon. That clogged ear thing. Was finally cleared out by an ENT doc (ear nose throat). Although to be fair, the guy I went to was almost reminiscent of an ent from LOTR, as he was pretty old and slow moving. Which was kinda frightening as he sorta poked around in my ear. His assistant/receptionist/do-everything-for-him lady really was the one who took care of things. I essentially paid $90 for someone to use a huge pump to blast water into my ear canal, and with that high pressure, to get the gunk out of my ear. It took like 8 or so attempts of this to free my left ear which was like 90% clogged this whole time, and a couple tries and manual extraction from the right ear.

(Mild gruesome-ish warning for the following; skip if you don’t want a description of the gunk clogging my ears) The left ear was full of earwax, the size of which I couldn’t believe could fit into a tiny ear canal. It was prolly the size of a pinto bean, and then some. The right ear, which was like 50-75% blocked, was actually clogged by a sinewy twirling piece of skin that had collected and clumped into its current form. The assistant pulled it out and it was like a good inch+ of dead skin. Eww.

But as I mentioned before, the sensation these past couple of days was like walking around w/ an earplug stuck in my ear 24/7. So once my hearing was liberated from the trenches of clutter, omg, the revelation of sound was astounding. With my hearing having somewhat adjusted to like 10% normal volume of sound, the sudden rush of normal sound volume was a freakishly weird experience.

The first sound my ears picked up on was the distinct crinkle of my shirt. And I wasn’t even moving much really. I was simply just sitting, and then I heard the crinkle, and was fascinated by it for like a good minute or so. T’was almost like a “what is this” moment.

And then back in the car, oi, the volume at which the radio was turned to for the past couple of days… damn that’s loud. But that was the only way I could even begin to hear a modicum of the normal volume I was used to. Seeing as how I was being thrown back into a rapid adjustment period, the ears were extremely hypersensitive and picking up everything at a seemingly amplified rate (which of course was really just a normal volume).

The opening and closing of my car door. The audible whirl of both my car’s engine and wheels versus the rushing sound of the wind. The crinkle of bags and receipts and cash. People’s speech. A running faucet. The swish-swash of my pant legs. Mouse clicks. Keyboard tile clicks. It was just really weird to be taking in all these sounds that are part of every day activities and just to kinda hear it all so crisply for the first time (in a while).

I’ve never looked forward to a doctor’s appointment so much in my life.

p.s. Prescription drops just to help finishing things off… The generic brand was gonna run me $75. And then the pharmacist asks if I have a AAA card or something. Which I did. Which was great because there’s a AAA discount? Dropped it down to $20. Can’t complain. Sweet.

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